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The Death Of Anne Boleyn

from March 2018 EP by Laurie Shaw

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lyrics

THE DEATH OF ANNE BOLEYN

ANNE LIVED BY THE FUNERAL HOME AND SAT OUTSIDE ALL NIGHT
WHILE THE BOY NEXT DOOR WAS PLANNING A PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE
HER BROTHER WAS A BOXER WITH A CAULIFLOWER EAR
HER MOTHER WAS A SKELETON, HER DAD A MUTINEER
SHE DISAPPEARED AFTER A FIRE SWALLOWED UP A SHED
A MILE AWAY FROM HER AND KILLED A SQUATTING SKIN-HEAD
THE POLICE SIRENS WERE SCREAMING LIKE BANSHEES THROUGH THE NIGHT
THROWING ALMOST EVERYTHING IN RED AND NAVY LIGHT

A GANG OF GOTHS WERE CUFFED AND PROBED AND EVEN FALSIFIED
CLAIMED IT WAS THESE TEENAGE GIRLS DRESSED A SUCCUBI
SOON THEY HAD TO LET THEM GO THERE WASN’T EVIDENCE
THEN IN CAME A CALL SAYING MY DAUGHTER’S MISSING, HELP
HER PACKET OF TOBACCO WAS SITTING BY THE FENCE
AND AN AROMA THEY IDENTIFIED AS BURNING FRANKENSCENCE
A JERIATRIC PSYCHIC SAID SHE GOT A VIBE
AND SAID IF YOU BUY THIS HOOVER, I’LL SAY THAT ANNE’S ALIVE

THEN A DAY LATER, SHE PROCEEDED TO DESCRIBE
HOW ANNE WAS WITH THE ANGELS, REPORTS SAY SHE WAS BRIBED
SO THE BROTHER WENT TO THE POLICE CHIEF, THROWING AROUND HIS FISTS
AND ENDED UP IN A CELL THAT NIGHT, A TRUE RECIDIVIST
G. BOLEYN THE FATHER, AND HIS GIRLFRIEND WITH THE LIMP
WHO WAS ALREADY UNDER SCRUTINY FOR BEATING UP A PIMP
RUMOUR IS HE RIPPED HER OFF WHEN FOR G’S LAST BIRTHDAY
SHE DECIDED TO TREAT HIM TO A THIRD PARTY

THEY WERE BEATING BACK THE BRANCHES IN THE NATIONAL PARK
COMBING THE GROUND FOR A TRACE OF HER AND AS THE SKY GOT DARK
A ROOKIE FOUND A BODY THAT WAS BOUND AT THE HANDS
IT TOOK THREE HOURS TO IDENTIFY THE DISFIGURED CORPSE AS ANNE
SOME PHONY FORTUNE TELLER WITH A CABIN IN THE WOODS
WAS ARRESTED WHEN HIS GLOVE WAS FOUND NEAR THE BODY IN THE MUD
BUT HE HAD AN ALIBI, WITH WITNESSES AS WELL
HE WAS DOING SOME CRYSTAL HEALING ON A MANGLED PIPISTRELLE

THE BODY HAD A RING OF BRUISES ALL AROUND THE NECK
AND TWO THORACIC STAB WOUNDS OF 6 INCHES OR LESS
THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR’S TEENAGE BOY WAS QUESTIONED FOR A DAY
UNTIL HE PROFESSED HIS LOVE FOR HER AND THEY LET HIM WALK AWAY
WHEN I ARRIVED IN TOWN IT WAS THE DAY OF THE WAKE
AND THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY MOURNERS TEARS COULD HAVE FILLED THE LAKE
YEAH THE HOTEL OWNER HAD ABOUT TWO PROSTHETIC ARMS
SAID HE’D LOST THEM YEARS AGO WORKING ON A SEWAGE FARM

SAID HE HAD A SON IN SPAIN WHO WAS AN OCCULIST
I COULD SEE THE HATRED IN HIS EYES SAID I WAS A JOURNALIST
I MET HER IN THE CAFÉ, SHE WAS SERVING ME SOME LEGS
WHEN SHE KNOCKED OVER MY COFFEE CUP AND IT RAN ALL DOWN MY EGGS
APOLOGIES LOCKED HORNS SHE SAID “I’LL SEE YOU AROUND”
AS I EXITTED ONTO THE STREETS AND DOWN TO THE BURIAL GROUND
THE EDITOR WAS ON MY BACK AND WANTING ME TI SOLVE
A SMALL TOWN MURDER GET A BIG CITY NEWSPAPER ABSOLVED

I ASKED ANNE’S FATHER FOR A LINE AND HE SPRAYED ME WITH BEER
SO I JUST MADE ONE UP AND WROTE UNDER IT ‘BY ELMYR’
I WAS IN THE DRINKING TAVERN, CAVERNOUS AND FILLED
WITH STROBELIGHTS AND AROMATIC STAINS WHERE ALE HAD BEEN SPILLED
IN FROM THE ICE, CAME THE AFOREMENTIONED WAITRESS WHO RETRIEVED
HER JACKET FROM NIGHT PREVIOUS, SHE WAS LIT LIKE ANNE OF CLEAVES
SHE PERCHED THERE TAKING A CLUB SANDWICH APART
TALKING TO SOME HERCULES, WHO’D GOTTEN IN THE CHARTS

SHE CAME BY ME SAYING SHE WAS BEING PUT ON
BY THIS MUSICIAN CLAIMING TO BE D.B COOPER’S SON
TWO NIGHTS LATER SIRENS HOWLED DOWN TO THE CEMETRY
HER GRAVE HAD BEEN DUG UP AND HER COFFIN WAS EMPTY

THEY FOLLOWED TYRE TRAACKS UP TO THE CHIEF’S PRIVATE GOLF COURSE
WHERE HE WAS WEEPING NAKED OVER DECOMPOSING CORPSE
TURNS OUT HE HAD LOVED HER TOO AND WAS STRUNG RIGHT OUT ON DRUGS
THE COMMISSIONER PUT HIM ON UNPAID LEAVE AND IT WAS SWEPT UNDER THE RUG

HER SECOND BURIAL TOOK PLACE AND ALL THE TOWNSFOLK LYNCHED
AN ARRIVING CHISEL JAWED MOURNER SOME EX- NORWEGIAN PRINCE
WHO ANNE HAD SPOKEN OF IN HER SECRET DIARY DEAR
PUBLISHED FOR THE MASSES (IT WASN’T MY IDEA)
AND THEY HAD GOT THIS NOTION THAT THIS NORDIC HEART THROB
HAD PUSHED HIS LUCK TOO FAR THAT NIGHT AND FINISHED OFF THE JOB
BUT THERE WAS NO EVIDENCE CAPTAIN CONNOR CRIED
AND HE AND ALL HIS LAWMEN FORCED THEM TO ABIDE

A CRAZY SLEW OF SAPHIRE HEISTS WERE FOLLOWED BY A FILM
SHOT ON LOCATION AS SOME MYSTICAL REALM
ECONOMIC INJECTIONS SOARED AND BROUGHT THE TOURISTS IN
AND CITY-HEADS RETIRED THERE, ALL LIVING IN SIN
ANS LIKE SNOW ON SHOE PRINTS, TIME BLEW IN
AND I WAS REASSIGNED TO A PIECE ON DRUG PEDDLING
TIME BROUGHT DUST ON EVERYTHING AND MYSTERY SETTLED IN
NO-ONE EVER SOLVED THE DEATH OF ANNE BOLEYN

credits

from March 2018 EP, released March 20, 2018

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Laurie Shaw Kenmare, Ireland

Laurie Shaw is a Wirral-born songwriter and producer. He now dwells in Ireland where he records from his mountain retreat. He often gigs in Cork, Dublin and the Merseyside area. He has released around 100 albums to date (all of which are available on request). ... more

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